Happy endings

So I was having this conversation earlier today and it got me thinking. I used to keep a diary religiously when I was younger... almost til I left for college. And when I go back now and read through it (I should say 'them' since there are multiple volumes), I'm struck by a) how there was always so much drama in my life and b) despite the drama, I was an incorrigible romantic, always optimistic. And I can't help comparing that to now, which makes me realize I've become a lot more cynical about love. I guess bittersweet experience is responsible for that, but it makes me kinda sad.

Last week, in the midst of all the mad work I had, I took a break at 11 to watch 'Sex and the City' reruns as usual. I'd been watching all of last semester and then again since I've been back and we were at the series finale. You know, the one where Big shows up in Paris and rescues Carrie from the bad (tho hot) Russian, saying "Carrie, you're the one." Now, I have inexplicably always loved Big, eventhough he treated her like crap for years, and always wanted them to end up together. But last week, watching that episode again, I was like, that's such bullshit. How often does that really happen? And it annoyed me that SATC had turned mushy at the end.

But, although she gets buried under the rubble of cynicism sometimes, I think that romantic little girl is still alive in here somewhere. Because, deep down, I do still want to believe in happy endings. So, I've convinced myself that it was just general grouchiness over work that made me react like I did. And that it is possible for things to work themselves out before it's too late. At least, sometimes..