Friday, June 30, 2006

One of those days...

Ever have those days when everything seems to be good and going right? Today was one of those days -- much needed, seeing as I've been in a bit of a rut lately. And it made me wonder how much of our days are influenced by our own outlook. When you're in a top-of-the-world mood, do people sense that and react in a particularly positive way?

It all began with the conversation I had with one of my oldest and closest friends earlier today. She took the crappy stuff, knew what to say, and then got me excited about the parts of my life that are going great. Perspective is such a wonderful thing -- and you usually get it from the people who know you best. After that, I was in this happy, floaty place -- and people, random strangers, seemed to be playing off it.

For instance, there was the guy at the store (I won't say where so as not to get him in trouble) who decided that a student shouldn't have to pay so much for stuff that is education-related and so he's knocking off nearly $200 by using his discount. For no reason except that he felt bad charging me so much. I didn't know that this kind of thing ever happened in New York. It means I'll have to wait on my merchandise for a couple extra days, but hey, altruism can't be entirely perfect!

And the rest of the day... I can't quite put it in concrete terms, but there was an extra-friendliness to all my interactions today. A lot of smiles and jokes and politeness. And there was the Italian maitre d' who kept trying to get me to go into his restaurant (apparently I was wearing Italy's colors -- and they just steam-rolled the Ukraine). And there were phone calls.

Whatever it was, it was nice. Days like this don't come around often -- and perhaps they wouldn't be appreciated if they did -- so I'm just high on the fact that it was "one of those days."

Thursday, June 29, 2006


For someone who requires that her job vary from day to day, it's totally contrary that I can imagine being happy filling forms, answering questions all day. Seriously. I think that's why I'm easily addicted to multiple choice "tests" -- not the ones you have to study for, but the ones that allegedly tell you something about yourself (that, presumably, you didn't know before, but I wasn't exactly surprised when a test told me I am most like Rachel from Friends or Jackie from That 70s Show -- I mean, hello? Who else would I be from those shows?!).

Today, ended up doing a couple more quizzes because I stumbled across them in the process of blog-reading. Then, out of curiosity, went to the Tickle (used to be Emode?) site and found that I've done like 70+ tests. And these are just the ones that have been saved on one site. So, I know all manner of things about me now -- for instance, apparently my body double is JLo (hah, I wish!) and I'm a Passionate Kisser. My Inner Goddess is an Angel (!) and my best quality is Independence. Hmmm... how much do we subconsciously (or consciously) manipulate these results?

So anyway, is interesting that one of today's tests told me that I'm always looking for something new, for every day to be different -- which is true. Hence the need for creativity in my work. But still, I maintain that I could fill forms all day. Maybe that's a business idea? Huh.

June 30th: Thanks, Sim, for fueling my addiction! Here are the results of that test:

What Your Soul Really Looks Like
You are a wanderer. You constantly long for a new adventure, challenge, or even a completely different life.
You are a grounded person, but you also leave room for imagination and dreams. You feet may be on the ground, but you're head is in the clouds.
You believe that people see you as larger than life and important. While this is true, they also think you're a bit full of yourself.
Your near future is likely to be filled with great successes and accomplishments. You just need to figure out how to get there.
For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Emotional drainage

Can you love and hate someone at the same time? Can black-and-white people ever get along with those who see life in shades of grey? Can you wish someone out of your life, while knowing you'd miss them if they were gone?

It's not supposed to be this hard. And yet, it's been 25 years and never particularly easy. So why would it start being now?

The thing is, life's pretty good most of the time. It's just these little big things. But hey, I'm stronger than that.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Running to stand still

Every time I've thought about updating my blog in the last two weeks, it just seems overwhelming and so I go do something else instead. I don't know if it's the onset of mild ADD thanks to the sticky hot New York days or just that so much is going on, I can't get my head around it. I feel like time is flying by and I'm constantly going... family stuff, things ending, things beginning, work, classes, people in town, people out of town.. sometimes, I want to push pause, take a breath and stop my head from swimming. But running full tilt keeps my mind off things.

Fourth of July in a week and a half and still no solid plans.

I want to lie back today and read a book. I think I might just do that.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Normal is boring?

I often tell my friend, Mush, that life is never boring when he's around. Somehow his presence results in at least a couple interesting or out of the ordinary happenings. He was here for all of 24 hours -- and now I'm in recovery mode.

We started out chill -- old friends catching up after what feels like a long time -- and we ended chill -- watching the Argentina-Ivory Coast match (woohoo, World Cup! Had to be said!). But there was the period in between...

After barhopping in the Meatpacking District for a few hours, we ended up in Chelsea at possibly the strangest party I have ever been to. The scene...I imagine that's what being on something chemical and illegal is like. Or I imagine it's what the inside of Dali's head looked like. Very very surreal. People dressed as neon angels...a fishnet body-suited mermaid...and everything in between. My eyes were heavy with fatigue but it was like walking into another world and not being able to tear your eyes off people. It wasn't M's idea, but I sure as hell haven't been anywhere like that until he shows up in town.

Then there was the scary incident, which is the first (and I hope the last) really unnerving one I've had in the City. It was almost 6am, the sun had risen, and we were walking down my block, almost home, when we hear people shouting and a guy and two girls come tearing around the corner toward us. At first we think it's just obnoxious loud drunk people, but something wasn't quite right and so in a split second, M sticks his foot out and trips the guy. He falls but gets up immediately and keeps running. By now we have an inkling that the girls are in pursuit of this guy, they're screaming "No!" But a few seconds lapse before one of them tells us that the guy has just snatched one of the girls' handbag. M takes off down the street after him, but the thief had a big headstart already. I'm torn between worrying that M will get shot or something (this is New York) and trying to get the handbag girl to stop crying and making sure her friend has called 911. To cut to the chase... cops came, M and another guy who joined in didn't manage to find the thief but they returned safe, and we finally got home. But it shook me up. I don't always think twice about walking half a block late at night in what feels like a safe neighborhood. It just shows, you never know. I'm never again going to do that. From now on, I'll get dropped off at my doorstep.

Like I said, never boring...

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Happy Birthday, Baby!

It's my baby's birthday today... 9 years old, she's not so baby anymore.

Hung over

Mixing drinks is so bad. I know that's Drinking 101 and yet, so many years later, I'll still do it occassionally. I'm only ever hung over when I've switched around between kinds of alcohol. Sometimes you're trying to numb thoughts as quickly as possible, tho, and you do it even when you know you'll regret it the next day.

Anyway.. it was fun last night. We went to the East Side Company Bar. Hidden between shuttered pizza parlors and stores. No name on the door. We almost walked right past but then found it. Gotta love going to places that are word of mouth rather than advertised. Interesting interior design -- it looked like a bunker. I mean, I'd hunker down there if there was a threat to New York. Of course, if you threw in the bartenders and the yummy drinks, who wouldn't want to be stranded there?

Wished I could just stay in and nurse my aching head today, but it was not to be. Had to go befriend the pedicab guys on Broadway. I think they're amused by me. Fingers crossed it stays dry the next few days so I can continue to hang with them.

Thursday, June 01, 2006


...can be a really good thing and a really really bad thing. Depending on who's holding control of it. Sometimes people work almost like banks. Almost worse, though, because with banks it's black and white.. with people, there's always that grey area.

Has been a fairly uninspiring week. Haven't felt like I had anything particular to say. Or at least, not anything I can say to the world at large.

Bad. Because it defeats my belief in living with intention, like every day counts. Sometimes you have a string of not-so-great days, though. And the inspiration is hard to find. Let's hope the phase is passing..